the lobster hat

UNDER CONSTRUCTION

Can you see it?  Isn't it silly? It is. Do you know what it is?  It's a lobster hat. It's a hat with lobster on it. Yes, for some reason, that eludes me to this day, people will wear large edible marine decapod crustaceans that have stalked eyes, a pair of large claws, and a long abdomen and that include species from coasts on both sides of the North Atlantic and from the Cape of Good Hope on their heads. It's odd.  You gotta be a fan.  No I mean reeeally. If I could find a hat in the shape of a stick of butter now that would be something!  He asked me to wear it.  You know.  No, not during,  Is that weird?  Yes it is. He had nice eyes.  Deep, you know?  Like he'd seen a lot and heartbreak too.  Quiet eyes.  There's something about a man that you see that in, it's not skittishness or deception, just hurt.  He'd always look away too, like he knew I could see it.  I could.  The eyes never lie. They might tell you their deepest truth and not look you in the eye.  That's when you know, they don't believe it either. I thought, 'I wonder what my boys would look like with those eyes.  I'm convinced, you see, that I will only have boy children because that's what my mother told me and I firmly believe that there should be more men like me on the planet.  'Things come easier to men.' my mother used to say.  She was right.  But I also wondered what had not come easily to this man.  We met a few days before 9/11.  We had an uncomfortable dinner.  I cried over drinks.  Yeah, I know, can I tell you,... I'm not a good first date, you sortah have to get to know me first.  Whatever.  That's another story for act two...maybe  But he was sweet.  We went for a walk and watched fireworks.  Yeah, you know.  Boys will be boys.  You're looking at the hat aren't you? You are.  It's just odd. Look, most people journal or macramé or something but I know that  he's got a picture of every woman he's been with in that hat.  In that lobster hat.  Did I wear it?  What do you think? 

I looked fabulous in that hat.

Now we dance.